


Call It What You Will

by xDestinyIsCallingx



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Reader, Mild Sexual Content, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-10 15:50:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20137999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xDestinyIsCallingx/pseuds/xDestinyIsCallingx
Summary: Levi hears a rumour that can't possibly be true. That you're in love with him.





	Call It What You Will

**Author's Note:**

> y/n = your name/ first name  
y/f/n = your full name  
y/l/n = your last name

Being called to Levi's office was something that had never happened to you before. You had never been reprimanded and as far as you were concerned you hadn't really been acknowledged by the Captain before. You were given strange looks as you were ordered to go there.

You shrunk in on yourself as you walked by your squad mates and dragged your feet towards his office. If you were honest you were very anxious to be going, yes, he was intimidating but there was another reason he made you nervous, you had at some point whilst being a part of the Survey Corps and being under his command, fallen in love with him. And now you were going to be one on one with him, you just hoped you weren't in trouble, that would be awful if that was going go be your first real interaction with the man. Of course you'd spoken to him before but that was more confirming orders or taking them. You had fought together but not often. It sucked having unrequited feelings, but you didn't think you'd seen Levi have any sort of interest in anyone before.

You arrived outside his office and swallowed nervously, wiping your suddenly sweaty palms on your skirt. You weren't in uniform right now, you had been spending the afternoon in the town, visiting home and when you had returned it had been to report to Levi. 

You knocked and waited.

"Come in." Levi's familiar flat, bored tone spoke from the other side.

You took one last calming breath before opening the door, stepping inside and closing it again behind you.

"Y/f/n reporting, sir." You stood straight and saluted.

Levi was sat behind his desk, head resting on one hand and looking at you impassively.

"What took you so long?" He asked, his gaze seeming annoyed.

"Apologies, Captain. I was in town and was only informed of my requested presence some moments ago."

His eyes stayed on you, making you sweat a little as you waited for him to speak again.

He sighed.

"Whatever. Just make sure it doesn't happen again. Sit down." He gestured flippantly to the chair on the other side of his desk.

"Yes, sir."

You moved quickly to sit, folding your hands in your lap.

When he didn't do anything but stare at you, you began to get more nervous. Were you supposed to say something? But you didn't know why you were there.

You wrung your hands together.

"Um... Was there something you wanted, Captain?"

His bored yet cutting gaze finally relented as he stood to stand by the window. Your shoulders sagged in relief.

"I heard something very... interesting today among some of the other soldiers. A rumour floating around concerning you."

You sat up a bit straighter.

"Me? What kind of rumours?"

Levi looked out the window, down at the meandering cadets as he answered.

"Quite unsavoury things I'm afraid. I thought I better bring you here to set you straight or at the very least have you deny them."

"I can assure you, sir, that whatever these rumours are, they're false."

Levi crossed his arms, leaning by the window, gaze fixing back on you.

"Oh? You don't even know what the rumour is. Can you make such an assurance?"

Your brow furrowed.

"Well, tell me then and I'll tell you but... Who was it exactly these rumours came from?"

"Unimportant. The focus is what's been brought to light. So, do you have any idea what I could have called you up for?"

You shook your head.

"No, sir. I'm afraid I don't."

He looked at you for a few beats.

"I see. Then I guess it's up to me to inform you about the rumour going around that you're in love with me."

For a moment you didn't think you heard him right. You froze, unblinking as you stared at him.

"Well? Is it true?"

The moment the shock started to fade you felt your pulse quicken and your stomach clench. You couldn't find any words to say because it was true, but there was no way that you could confirm it, but you also didn't think there was any way for you to hide it after being asked so directly.

Levi's eyes narrowed.

"Y/l/n. I'd like an answer."

Your cheeks burned. You dipped your head to avoid his eyes that held disdain in them and no doubt disgust when he realised the truth. The silence that followed gripped at your nerves, you began to feel sick with it.

"What am I supposed to make of your refusal to answer, y/l/n? Could it be that there is some truth to these rumours?"

You squeezed your eyes shut and wished you were anywhere else than here in this situation.

"I-I-I-"

"Stop."

You snapped your mouth shut.

You could hear Levi's boots on the stone floor as he moved away from the window, coming to stand by your chair. You daren't look up.

"Y/n." His voice suddenly so close to your ear made you jump.

You held your breath as you waited stiffly for what he was about to say.

"You're going to have to say it. Is it true?"

You gripped your hands together to stop them from shaking and you bit your lip. You would have preferred being reprimanded over this.

"Sir, I-"

Levi stood in front of you now, a hand on each arm of your chair, boxing you in, giving you no other option but to meet his gaze.

"I'm going to ask you one more time... Are you in love with me?"

You swallowed thickly.

"No... Captain."

He studied you a moment, not moving.

"The truth?"

You felt tears begin to well. You shook your head, dropping your gaze to your lap.

"No, Captain." You said in a whisper.

"Why?" 

His question surprised you, what had you taken aback even more so was the hint of anger in his eyes as you looked back up at him.

"What?"

His hands momentarily gripped the chairs arms with white knuckles before shocking you by grabbing the front of your shirt and hauling you to your feet.

"I said, why? Why would you do something so stupid? I don't like repeating myself, so answer me!"

You felt yourself shake as you looked into his steely, grey eyes.

"I-I-I don't know." 

He scoffed.

"You don't know?" His visible anger melted back into his usual stoic expression which seemed all the more unsettling right now. "Well, maybe I can help you." He turned you and shoved you towards the desk causing you to topple backwards and hit it with the back of your legs. You placed your hands behind you to balance.

Your heartbeat was erratic as he slowly approached you, trapping you between himself and the desk.

"Let's try and narrow this down shall we? What reasons could you be interested in me?"

He leaned in and took a stray lock of hair between his fingers, examining it a moment before tucking it back into place. You stared at him with wide eyes.

"Do you find me... attractive?" He asked as if it was a genuine question of offhand curiosity. 

Could this get any more mortifying? You were no good at lying though. You clenched your fists and steeled yourself to be further humiliated.

"Y-yes."

"Hm? Is that so? Perhaps it isn't love, merely lust that you feel for me." He stepped closer still, forcing you backwards, your legs digging into the edge of the desk. You ended up sitting on it, Levi standing between your legs. "Perhaps," His hands rested on your knees. "It's just something you need to get out of your system? Is that it?" His hands slowly slid upwards, pushing your skirt up with them. Your hands flew to stop it riding higher. "Hm? Don't you want your Captain to touch you? Isn't this what you want?"

You shook your head. 

"No. A-at least, not like this. I-it doesn't m-mean anything."

Levi's fingers dug into your legs.

"Mean anything? What could it possibly mean other than you getting over your ridiculous infatuation. You can't possibly believe that what you feel for me is love."

"It might be hard for you to understand my feelings-"

"You're damn right it is! You have no idea who I am, your feelings are completely irrational."

"Maybe so. But they're my feelings and I'm sorry that you found out, but it's my business to deal with them."

Levi sneered and pushed you so you were lying, back flat across the desk. His hands gripped your wrists which he held on either side of your head as he loomed over you.

"You piss me off."

You looked up at him with wide eyes.

"I still haven't gotten an answer from you, y/l/n. I want to know why you think you love me."

You turned your head away even as his grip tightened on your wrists.

"How long have you been a part of the Survey Corps?" He asked.

"Three years."

"Three years. You think that's long enough to love someone? And me of all people."

"I can't help how I feel!" You cried in frustration.

"Obviously, because if you could you wouldn't make the foolish decision to love me."

You looked up at him curiously.

"Is it foolish?"

"Of course it is! What did you expect would be the end result?"

"Nothing. I expected nothing. No one was even meant to know."

"So, you were just going to suffer quietly was that it? Pathetic."

You frowned up at him.

"It might be, but so what? Would you please just let me go!"

"No, I'm not finished with you yet. I want my answer."

You twisted your wrists in his grip whilst you scowled up at him.

"I meant what I said, I'm not really sure why or when, but..."

You averted your eyes, blushing slightly.

His gaze hardened.

"What?"

You sighed.

"Yes, I find you attractive and I won't lie your reputation proceeds you, it shrouds you in this light of a hero, but that's not the reason. I can't remember how long ago now, I don't even remember after what battle, but I remember thinking afterwards how lonely you looked." 

You felt your eyes sting with tears as your mind wandered back to that day. You'd suffered heavy losses and some of Levi's closest men had been killed. You didn't know much about his past but from the outward passiveness of so much death you could only imagine what he'd been through. That's when you had caught his eye, you gasped because for a split moment you had seen an emptiness that made your heart ache.

"I realised that nearly out of everyone, you had lost the most. How painful it must be to carry on when it's only you. They call you humanities strongest, and I think they're right. Just not for the same reasons."

Levi's hands had begun to shake as they held you down. You hadn't been looking at him as you had spoken so when you did look into his face again a tear slid down your cheek at his raw expression.

His voice was filled with barely constrained emotion, it wavered even against his will.

"I don't want your pity." He said, his jaw tightening. "What do you know of pain and loss? Nothing! You don't know me, or the things I've done... You'd think differently if you-"

His grip had loosened on your wrist whilst he spoke, allowing you to slip a hand free and cup the side of his face. His eyes widened, he felt his very core shaken by the soft look in your eyes.

Your eyes swam with tears as you looked into his.

"Do you know the first thing I thought when I saw you that day? I thought, I wish I could be somebody to make him less lonely." The corners of your lips turned up gently. "And what could you have possibly done that you haven't paid for ten times over? Everyone deserves love. Even you."

Levi gritted his teeth as he desperately tried to refrain from releasing the emotion that was stuck at the back of his throat and burning his eyes.

"You... fool... " His brows shook as they furrowed. It broke your heart to see him struggling with idea of someone loving him. "You're damn idiot."

You smiled softly.

"Yes, probably."

Whatever resolve was left crumbled as a strangled sob escaped him. You didn't see whether he actually shed tears or not though for he buried his face in the crook of your shoulder. You froze, for a moment unsure of what to do before holding him to you with a hand to the back of his head and one on his back.

After a few moments he spoke, turning his face into your neck.

"I... I'm not... I'm not an easy person to love."

"I don't mind."

He scoffed.

"Famous last words."

You threaded your fingers through his hair and smiled to yourself.

"Probably."

Levi grunted into your shoulder. He spoke again after another beat of silence his voice slightly muffled by your shoulder.

"Say it."

"Huh?"

You tried to turn your head to look at him but he refused to move.

"I said, say it." 

Your brow furrowed.

"Say what?"

He lifted himself off of you while also wrapping an arm around you pulling you with him.

He looked you in the eye.

"I won't repeat myself again."

You thought for a moment before realising what he meant. Your face turned beet red.

"I-I can't just say it."

His arm tightened around you pulling you closer, "Why not?" His face was so close you thought he might kiss you. You squeezed your eyes shut but a kiss never came, instead his face slid up against yours so he could speak directly in your ear. You shivered as his breath ghosted across your skin and from the closeness of his voice. "What if I ordered you?" He placed a soft kiss on the side of your neck making your breath catch.

"Captain." You said breathlessly.

He pulled back to look at you.

"I like the way you say that. I'm sure I'm going to like the way you say a lot of things."

You squirmed a little in his grasp.

"Captain, what are you-"

He drew you in so that your noses brushed.

"If you're so sure that you're in love with me, you're going to have to prove it. Put up with me when I'm an asshole, my tendency to be controlling or meticulous. And if we're fully exploring this-"

"Who said we were?"

"Then I get to hold you close whenever I want. If I feel like kissing you or touching you then I will. Now, say it. I want to hear it."

You flushed as you lowered your eyes.

"I... " You took a breath. "I love you."

"I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that. Again."

You lifted your eyes to meet his again.

"I love you. Okay?"

He grabbed your waist and pulled your body flush against his. He raised an eyebrow before pulling you into a kiss. Your arms went automatically around his neck as his lips ravaged yours.

"You might live to regret those words." He growled as he lowered you back down onto the desk.

"Oh, Captain, I hope so."


End file.
